5 minutes on "Release"

I wasn't planning on writing today. No particular reason. Well, ok, I am daydreaming about moving the whole family into an RV to drive around the country. This type of daydreaming takes some research. I found this blogger who recommended this blog, so I was planning on ignoring the laundry to do some reading during nap time.

But....I got a writing prompt for 5 minute Friday with Lisa Jo Baker and I thought, well, five minutes isn't long so, here goes.

5 minutes on Release.

I'm in my later twenties now, approaching thirty. My friends are all a good bit older than me, and they tell me that the thirties bring a whole new level of self awareness, and I won't care what people think as much. I king of feel that coming on.

I'm a people pleaser by nature. I don't want to upset anyone's day. As a result, I censor myself. A lot. I don't want to say something wrong or offend anyone.

Lately, I've been releasing more of my true self. This month's 15 minutes of writing a day has really helped with that. As has working on my bucket list. I have taken to heart the idea that I should be who God made me to be, because anything else would be cheating the world out of His design and purposes for me.

It scares me, opening myself up to reveal my flaws and eccentricities. It just seems that, lately, it scares me more to live life by other people's standards.

15 minute post about My bucket list

On June first, I mentioned that Dennis and I have been working on our bucket lists. Today, I thought it would be fun to share mine. It's a work in progress, of course. This has been such an enlightening experience. Things that I thought would make the list did not, and a few ventures I had never given much thought turned out to be pretty important to me.

In order to see if an item is worthy of making the list, I ask one simple question: "At the end of my life, will I regret not having done this thing?"

If the answer is yes, on the list it goes. I really recommend taking a few minutes to start a bucket list today, it has helped me focus and set some goals for myself in the coming years.

Ok, so, anyway. Here it is:

Bucket list
Have dreadlocks
Try vegetarianism
Adopt children
Do a pull up (Yes, just one. I have zero upper body strength)
Visit The Simple Way
Visit Portland
Visit Ethiopia
Visit The Dancing Rabbit
Buy an old house and fix it up
Write a thriving blog, or a book
Go on a food tour of Italy
Learn Chinese
Publish a children's book (I wrote one years ago, and I want to get my brother to illustrate it so I can have a copy to read to my kids)
Climb a mountain (I do love hiking and camping, but to be honest, I felt obligated to add some sort of physical feat besides "do one pull up" because that would be sad and lame. Also, I do not want to turn into a fat blob of lazy.)

.....uh, what kind of hippie freak am I?.....

Like I said, I'm writing more now to keep my, uh, chops sharpened or whatever. You know, to stay in practice. So that will help if I ever get lucky enough to write for a living.

We're also flirting around with being vegetarian around here. I feel great so far! I haven't had meat since...supper last night. Oh, and one bite of bacon this morning. Ahem.

I'm going to start studying Chinese for 15 minutes a day, kind of like this whole "write for 15 minutes a day" thing. Maybe I'll alternate days or something. Those sound like some seriously low expectations, but anyone who has 3 kids age three and under will understand  - I'm just trying to be realistic.

We're toying around with planning our next trip for early next year, but I don't know which location we'll tackle this time...

There you have it. I wonder how many years it will take to accomplish all of this....

Oh, I won't share Dennis' whole list, but it involved music instruments and some sports and learning to make sushi, I think. I can't wait to hear him playing music again.

15 minutes about my quarter life crisis

Dennis and I have decided to start actively working on our "bucket list", which is a list of things you want to accomplish before you die. I'll share my list one day soon, (Done, click here to read it!) but one of the items on my list is to "have a thriving blog or write a book". Right now, I don't have time to pursue such silliness, but I would like to still be working toward that goal. I love to write, and I want to prioritize it, so I've challenged myself to write for fifteen minutes every day in the month of June. I'll write one post a day. Since I only have fifteen minutes to write, I'll be publishing my posts "as-is", with minimal proofreading and snazzing. Enjoy reading along if you like, but don't feel obligated.

Now, as for what inspired this new bucket list, it was this thing I once heard of called a quarter-life-crisis. You see, every time I have a new kid, I have a little identity crisis. Blame it on the hormones, and the lack of sleep. This time around, add in the fact that I got an invite to my ten year class reunion and I'm now entering my late twenties, and you've got a full blown quarter life crisis.

Stop laughing. Ok, you can laugh, I know it's silly. But wait until I tell you this next part - I also found my first gray hair this year. See, I told you it was a big deal. (don't miss the sarcasm there.) You see, I've always admired gray hair and said that I looked forward to seeing my hair turn steely and wise, but when it actually started happening, it was such a shocking moment. Not necessarily that my hair is changing color, but that my body is aging and I can't turn back the clock and I can't make it stop. Time will march on and there is nothing I can do about it. This scares me in every facet of my life, from my children growing up to my body falling apart to the inevitable final goodbye that we all have to say when our loved ones make that leap into the great beyond.

You see, when you are young you have every opportunity in front of you, but as life goes on and you put some of those major life decisions behind you, the pool of options begins to shrink. I've started to realize that my time on this earth is, in fact, limited and I may not actually have time to do it all. I'm also realizing that I'm not automatically going to become the person that I always wanted to be. It is going to take some intentional prioritizing and saying "yes" and "no" to the right things.

Let's not even start on the physical changes that come with aging. I always thought, as every young person does, I suppose, that I would age gracefully. You know, a few smile lines and gray hair. Other than that, nothing would sag or stretch or start to look elderly. Can I tell you that growing three kids in four years inside your body gives you a head start on the aging process? Those books I read on pregnancy and childbirth did not tell me to expect that.

Don't worry, I know I've still got a lot of good years ahead of me, Lord willing, and I know have the gumption to get focused and make the most of them.

Time's up!